Fostering Self-Motivation in Children

Can you create self-motivation in someone else?  Isn't that an oxymoron?  Yes, in a sense.  However, you can help foster self-motivation by doing certain things and limiting certain other things. 

        This is based on my own thoughts and observations, nothing from a book.

-As toddlers, allow them to do as many things "by themselves" as they want.  Feeding themselves from 9 months old, dressing themselves at 2 years old, walking when it would be easier to carry them or use a stroller... you get the idea.  It may seem that everything takes twice as long (and it does!), but this will pay off with encouraging them in their ability to do things on their own.

-As preschoolers, encourage them to do things on their own even if it would be quicker and easier (and less messy) if you did it for them, such as pouring their own juice, buttering their bread, tying their shoes, etc.

-For all ages, limit screen time, which gives children instant gratification.

-For preschoolers, try to limit the toys and games that do all the playing for them, like dolls that talk, walk, and pee, and "learning games" that play music at the touch of a button.  Let them play with dolls without batteries, so they can make up the words the doll says themselves.  Give them play instruments like toy drums or xylophones so they can make their own music.

-For all ages, have them play outside a little everyday.  There is no schedule and no activities director, so they will have to come up with something to do on their own.

-When older children have an idea or suggestion, don't laugh or mock them.  Listen to them and their ideas.  If feasible, help them accomplish their ideas.

-If you have allowance, consider having a base-line amount, and then they can earn more if they decide to do more chores without being asked.

-Pray for your children to have self-motivation.  Since it comes from within, the only one who can really change a child is the Holy Spirit.


-If you are homeschooling, consider not "grading", but teaching for mastery.  When they have fully understood a concept to 100% or close, then move on to the next lesson.

-Show pride when they do something without being told, or start a hobby that interests them.  They are doing something on their own initiative.

                  What do you think?  Is self-motivation something you can learn, or does it have to be something you possess already at birth?

Why my kids aren't in ANY activities

 Ok, to be fair, where we live, there aren't any activities for the kids to be involved in like sports, co-ops, dance classes, etc.
          But, even when we lived in America for a year and had the kids in public school we didn't have them signed up for ANY activities.   Why?  There are many benefits to NOT being involved in organized sports, classes or groups. 

       I believe in lots of free time for the children to explore their interests, to learn to bake or cook, to read, and to play outside in nature.  Having them busy all of the time takes away from what I think is more important for them at this age- free time.

Katrina cutting fabric to sew doll clothes

      More time for family.  I for one don't like the idea of all of my family time spent driving the kids from one activity to the next.  Instead, I like to spend our time together. 


Katrina cross stitches and Heather knits while I read to them



      We are able to travel when we want, and make plans on our own schedule.  This is a big one for our family, as we travel almost every weekend when we are living in America doing support raising.  We need to be able to pick up and go whenever is convenient for us and not worry about missing a game or recital.

Helping Jonathan snorkel on one of our impromptu trips last month

     It's a lot cheaper. We are pretty cheap people. :)

                                                   This is not to say that organized activities for kids is wrong in any way, but it's just something we have chosen not to participate in as a family.   What do you think?  Do the benefits for being in activities outweigh the benefits of not being in them?