Are Homeschooling and Boarding School Mutally Exclusive?

Usually when you think about homeschooling, boarding school isn't a part of the picture, right?

 

I mean, homeschooling is all about being together as a family

 

and boarding school is about

sending your kids AWAY.

 

 

 

    Right?

 

 

            Not always.

 

   When living in East Africa, sometimes the culmination of your homeschool career is to go to boarding school for high school.  My husband went to said boarding school, as did his brother and his wife.  As did many other missionary kids from years past, present and future. 

 

      I always said I would never send my kids to boarding school, when I found out that this was a common option for missionaries in East Africa. 

              But, what if my daughter is asking to go?!

 

 

 

 This was not in my plans, and God knows I never wanted to send my kids away.... but what if it isn't Sending Them Away?   What if it's Letting Them Go?    

 

                               Our final decision isn't made yet, but we are looking into our oldest daughter starting boarding school in a Christian boarding school in Nairobi in 8th grade.... which would make next school year her last year of homeschooling.

 

 

 So, how do I reconcile homeschooling my kids with boarding school?

 

 

                                            Good question.  I'll let you know....

Sick Days in Homeschool

Doing schoolwork on the couch

 

  Yes, I'm THAT mom... the one that makes her kids do their school work even when they're sick!  If they aren't throwing up, or on their death bed... I make them do some school work. 
            

                            One reason is that the day is awfully long and boring when you are lying on the couch, too sick to get up and play.  Doing school work helps the long hours go by more quickly.

                 Another reason, at least for me, is that we have already taken off so much school by this point that if we miss anymore school we'll be going until July... so we must press on!

   One benefit to me of homeschool is that if the kids have a mild fever I don't have to make the decision about whether or not they are "sick enough" to stay home or have to decide when it is that they are "well enough" to go back to school.  Those things are always tricky to me.

    
             

Happy Easter!

Easter is in 2 days!  One reason that I like to raise my kids here in Tanzania is that the commercialism during holidays is almost non-existent.  There wasn't any Easter baskets, or candy on sale in the stores, although I did buy the kids some candy.  We haven't gone shopping for new Easter outfits, but have picked out our nicest clothes that we have to wear.
  

             Our Easter celebration will be having Easter baskets with candy (mostly from Grandma) and finding eggs before church, then going to Moshono Christian Church. After church, they are serving a meal of rice and beans for everyone at church.  We have a guest visiting this year so he'll be joining us a well.  That night, we'll have a steak dinner and Skyping with family.  That will be it.  And, honestly, I kind of like missing all the hype of the Easter bunny, gift baskets, having to dress to the 9's for church... and getting to focus on the meaning of Easter.  We have been talking all week about Passion Week and what happened each day.

           That is what really matters this Easter, that Jesus died for us and rose to save us from sin. 


       It's fine to remember and celebrate that with candy, eggs, clothes, and parties as long as it doesn't distract us from what the real meaning is.

Carving out Time for Yourself as a Homeschool Mom

 When you homeschool, it feels like you are surrounded by people (mostly your offspring) ALL the time, from dawn til dusk and sometimes in the middle of the night too!  I'm an introvert, and I cherish time to myself... so...
                           HOW DO YOU FIND TIME TO YOURSELF?
 Here are 5 ideas of ways to steal some precious moments alone to help your sanity!

     Get up before the kids do!
This one is vital for a productive day, I feel.  Even though we are pretty relaxed about when we get up, I make sure I am up an hour, or at the very least 1/2 hour before the kids.  This gives me time to pray, read the Bible, exercise if I'm ambitious, and clear my thoughts before it "hits the fan". 

      Stay up later than they do.
  At night, I put the kids to bed around 8pm.  My older daughter doesn't sleep til about 9pm, but she has to stay in her room and play or ready quietly.  My husband and I can talk, watch TV; if I had a really stressful day I'll just zone out with a book or on my computer.

       Saturday mornings are for sleeping in!
  The kids know not to bother me on Saturday morning.  They know how to make toast, and turn on a movie... and to leave me alone until I emerge!

      Shopping day is MY day
  When I go grocery shopping, I take along a book or my Kindle and go to a restaurant and order a coke and have a half hour to myself before shopping.  This works because Bill can stay home with the kids.  I do recommend shopping alone or with only one child at a time if you can possibly do so, it's a lot less stress.

      Tell your kids to Go outside and Play!
   While I'm cooking dinner, I like to have some peace and quiet in the house.  It's also when all the neighborhood kids are out.  So, I send the kids outside for the hour that it takes to make dinner.  It's good for them and me.  If not outside, send them to watch a movie while you cook.

    Have a nice day!

Special Time

 I've talked about having Special Time with the kids before, but I feel that its so important that I need to bring it up again.
     
        As a homeschool mom, it often feels like you are spending every waking moment with your kids.  (That is mostly true, but not entirely!)  But, because much of that time is instructional, or telling them things they need to be doing. "Take a shower" "Feed your pet" "Pick up your room"... there needs to be some time set apart each day to spend with each child... separately.

          This has become a very important part of our day.  For my older girl, it might be a walk up the "mall" to share a coke, or reading aloud to her.  For my younger daughter, it could be coloring together, or playing cards.  For my son it could be playing blocks or just going outside to play together. 
      I specifically tell them, "This is our special time together."  The other two children aren't to join in.  They each have 1/2 hour of computer time a day, so they can play on the computer or just entertain themselves while I spend time with their sibling alone.
                         
           Why do I feel this is so important?

                                   Individual attention!  Love!

 

     Don't you love it when your spouse puts aside time in their day to spend with just you?  Our kids also want our attention, and time... one on one.  This might seem insane when you already spent all day in school together but I have found that overall mood improves when we have Special Time.  Sibling rivalry *decrease*  (nothing would eliminate it entirely), and joy is increased.  The children are more willing to help out around the house, and aren't as antagonistic. 

         To be honest, my day is mostly filled with school, and then special time until it's time to start dinner.  But, I really do enjoy these moments with my kids, and feel that these moments are creating memories that will last a lifetime.  Of course, we all play together and have family time as well. But, I want to get to know each child as an individual.

Heather helping me bake for Special Time.

Childhood Freedoom

           I just read an amazing article about an Adventure Playground in Wales called "The Land".  I highly recommend reading it.

http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2014/03/hey-parents-leave-those-kids-alone/358631/

  The playground has no typical playground equipment such as slides, swings, etc.  Instead it is filled with junk such as used tires, old mattresses and barrels.  The children who play there are supervised by "playworkers" who watch the kids but rarely interfere with their play.  I think that this is a wonderful idea and that more of these Adventure Playgrounds should come around, especially in America.  They give children a chance to take risks and chances, and learn from their mistakes.
       That is one thing that I really do love about living here in Africa.  No, we don't have a fancy Adventure Playground with paid staff.  Instead, we have a neighborhood full of kids who are out playing on the streets, riding bikes, having sword fights with old plastic pipes or sticks, or making hide outs in the corners of the compound. 
         I grew up in the woods, and one regret is that my children don't have the opportunity to live in the woods like I did.  But, one thing that is the same is that sense of freedom.  My brother and I would wander our small patch of woods, and have "secret" forts, climb trees, eat edible weeds, and "bake" clay dishes on our BBQ pit.  Our kids are growing up with a little bit of that.  I do appreciate that there are armed guards at the gate of our compound.  Within the walls of our neighborhood, I basically let our children run free.
        Our kids are still normal kids though. If I allowed them to play video games and watch TV all day they would never go outside.  Sometimes I force them to go out and play even when they don't "feel like it".  Usually in five minutes they've found a group of friends and are playing until dinner.
         Not everyone has a neighborhood like that.  And, in America, I am much more vigilant- never letting the kids play out of my sight.  Somehow, here it's different because all the moms are home (mostly Indian mothers), and are also watching out of their windows.  We have security measures like a wall around our neighborhood and armed guards.  It feels ironic, but it feels safer here to let the kids run free and play.

5 things You Can Do To Diffuse Anger in Homeschool

    I LOVE homeschooling (see my previous blog).  There are times however, when I wonder, "Why am I doing this to myself?"   Usually these moments arise when one child argues, cries, or complains about the work assigned, or just plain lies down and refuses to do it.  What do you do then?!  I understand that this is what parents mean when they say things like, "Better you than me!" or "I could never homeschool my strong willed child!"  Well, I won't say it's easy, but it is DOABLE if approached in the right frame of mind.

  There are some things you can do when tensions run high in homeschool.

1.  Pray, pray, pray!
     Of course, this should be an ongoing thing in everyone's life, especially the homeschool mom!  I pray for patience, direction, MORE patience, and wisdom.

2.  Take a moment to cool off.
    My statement to said child is, "Either you can go and lie down on your bed, or you can get back to work."  If the child is truly beside themselves, lying down will do wonders for them-- they may even fall asleep!  A nap mid-day is great if the frustration is due to being over-tired.  If my child says, "NO!" to either choice, "Then no computer or TV time today".  Sometimes she chooses to work again, sometimes to rest.  Don't make lying down a punishment, just an option that they can choose.

3.  Re-assess the situation.
    After the initial emotions have cooled off, ask what is causing the problem?  Is a younger sibling causing distractions in the background?  Do they need a snack or drink?  Is this assignment frustrating because they don't understand it?  Try to decide how to solve the root problem. 
    This is HOMEschool, not public school at home.  You can go over the lesson again (and again, and again) until they understand; break it down into smaller, manageable parts; assign only a few problems out of the page to see if they understand; or skip that subject or lesson entirely until later that day or next week or next month.

4. Ask for help!
    When I'm at my whit's end, my husband is a wonderful support.  There are certain subjects that one child refuses to study with me because she doesn't like the way I explain it-- only Daddy will do for those subjects.  Be willing to recruit family and friends to come and help when needed.
    Also, don't be to ask for professional help if it's needed.  Like me, you probably didn't study education in school and can't be expected to know everything about child development and issues in education. 

5.  Keep it in perspective.
    How is your over-all relationship with your child?  If good, then don't let frustration in school change that.  If it's suffering, spend extra time to develop a strong relationship with them.  The facts learned in school are important, but the relationships developed with God and our families are more important.